Every Sunday night is the same.

You watch the clock as it gets closer and closer to the end of the night. And to Monday when another week at the job making you increasingly uncomfortable begins.

You know you need to do something about the stress your hashtag#distressingwork is causing in your life – binge eating, tension with your significant other, snapping at colleagues, doom scrolling LinkedIn.

Should I stay? Should I go? Should I listen to The Clash again to help me decide what to do about the hashtag#distressingwork I recently found myself in?

Yes, I had to coach MYSELF the same way I do for clients who feel stuck in the same spot.

Sometimes making a decision to leave #distressingwork is as simple as flipping the bozo bit. You may have already done it and not even noticed!What is the "bozo bit", you ask?

And what on earth does it have to do with your decision to do something new for your job or career?

Oh, those Monday blues, the dragging feeling of heading back to a job that's miserable. You've asked yourself, "What's In It For Me?" (WIFM), but the answer has been elusive. You've shared your gripes with friends and loved ones, knowing full well your job isn't what you want – but not exactly what to do about it.

So, why ARE you still here?

Whoa! I wasn't expecting THAT! What just happened here?

One of the biggest stressors at work (and in life!) can be unmet expectations.

Did you interview with an amazing manager and accept the role largely in part because of her - and then you show up on day one and find out she left the company? Or maybe your job responsibilities are not at all when you expected from the job description?

How many of you have daydreamed about doing something else for work than you are doing at this very moment? 

• Make art instead of slide decks?

• Build cabinets not spreadsheets?

• Take off for 6 months to travel instead of attending 6 hours of meetings today?  Leave this extremely distressing job NOW - instead of suffering through months of indecision?
  
  Why don't you just do it?

Yesterday I spent an hour hearing my dentist's career journey.

It was long and winding and fascinating (and a good distraction to dental work).

I was struck one again by how many of us (most? all?) end up somewhere far different from what we said we wanted to do for a career at age 5, 18, 30 or even 55.

The boob tube (TV) occasionally provides some significant inspiration!

I just watched the end of "Survival of the Thickest" on Netflix, starring the impressive Michelle Buteau.

This quote about daring, power and fear knocked me in the face like an ocean wave. I came across it while reading a preview copy of my friend Michelle Minnikin's book, Good Girl Deprogramming, in a chapter on dealing with threats.

I was walloped because I am finally experiencing it.

Trouble in mind
Yes I'm blue
But I won't be blue always
Sun is gonna shine
In my back door someday

These are the lyrics to a really old blues song from the 1920's called "Trouble In Mind," one of many songs in a genre created by enslaved people looking for hope in any corner.

Please don’t (virtually) punch me but I don’t believe in being thankful.

I very much appreciate things in my life. I’m thrilled beyond belief at much of my good fortune. But for me, the word "thankful" sounds like another way of keeping women in their place.

So many women are petrified at work. Men likely are too but as a #careerchangecoach for women I hear more from them.

After 40, most of us have been through some significant corporate crap. It leaves a mark.

Have you ever heard there is no such thing as anger?

I can hear you scoffing from here.

A therapist told me this. He said anger is actually made up of other emotions that are harder to express.

When is free time not actually free?

When you are spending it consumed with #indecision about a step to take in your life.

When every waking moment (and many dreams) are exhausted (literally and figuratively) by back and forth thoughts exploring every angle of what you could do, might do.

I am thinking about scabs. Strange for a career change coach? Not really.

According to the dictionary, a scab is "a dry, rough protective crust that forms over a cut or wound during healing."

Ewwww!

But we need scabs. They promote healing.

Yesterday a sea otter at the Portland Zoo brought me back to myself.

Today a podcast episode from my friends Angie Huber and Rebecca Rutherford on perfectionism helped explain why.

I am the only judge and jury of my career story. So are you.

Recently I met with a fellow professional woman over 40 who left her last job due to a #toxicwork situation and is now facing the challenge of finding a new fit that is better than the last.

Sometimes I feel like a loser in my #career. Do you ever feel this way? It can be paralyzing. Here is how I came to convince myself otherwise!

You are in the right place, you brave woman! Being in the workplace over 40 isn’t like starting off as a wide-eyed 22 year old. You have learned and seen things that may be hard to get past.

I want you to find career satisfaction, and so I’m going to do everything in my power to help you decide where that is!

#bullying. Does this word strike fear into your heart? Did you think it was restricted to 5th grade recess when your group of friends suddenly shunned you? 

It’s not. Bullying happens at work. It may go by different names, and likely the perpetrators are better dressed but I am here to tell you it’s real.